My oldest baby graduates in about a month and I'm sucking at this. In fact, anyone who reminds me of this in any shape, form or fashion sucks too.
I TIVO Oprah everyday. I might not always watch it because it might not be something I'm really interested in but for the most part I check it out everyday and watch most days.
I almost didn't watch today. It was all Country singers. I'm not a fan. I don't dis-like Country music or it's performers, it's just not my preference. Though I do love some Travis Tritt and Toby Keith (I like the IN YOUR FACE kinda stuff... with attitude!) Anyway, it said Darius Rucker was going to be on today so I had to watch that. I had heard he "switched sides" but hadn't heard any of it yet. Those of us more prone to Rock will only know, or refer to Darius Rucker as Hootie. Let's just say watching this show was stupid. Okay, wait, when they talked to Kenny Chesney he talked about my man (duh.. Bruce) so that was cool. Onward....
What a boo-hoo'ing baby I turned out to be! Now, before Darius Rucker (Hootie) sang Carrie Underwood sang. She sang some song about a woman who's husband was killed at war. I'll give it to her it was a good song and it was even a little bit rocking. On to Darius Rucker. "It won't be like this for long". Wow.. Darius, you suck. Hard. I can never ever ever listen to that song again. At least not until AFTER Ashton graduates. No, probably never. (I'll go find the lyrics and post them at the end of this blog)
I know every parent at some point thinks, "I can't wait till he/she moves out, they're on their own etc etc". This is also generally thought of when you're also thinking of ways of ripping their vocal chords out, gluing their eyeballs into a non-rolling position or taking the bedroom door completely off the hinges before it can get slammed even one more time!
However, I have NEVER ever said that. Ever. What is wrong with me!?? It's not like I'm blessed with precious little angels who've never done wrong! (Yes, I'm blessed, but angels.. no.) Believe me, I've been through it. I just have never wanted them to go anywhere. I don't want Ashton to be almost 19, I don't want her to Graduate, I don't want her to start College, I don't want her to move out, I don't want her to do any of that!! (Insert mental image of me stomping my foot).
I just think kids are too young when they graduate. They should have to go to High School till they're 20. What if I didn't do a good enough job?? OH MY GOSH!!! This is my daughter who can't even order for herself in restaurants.
What if I don't know where she is, or if she doesn't get home by 12:30 (her curfew while living in my house) or if she ate, or what if I hear sires and she doesn't answer, what if I don't what she's wearing so that I have the ability to tell the police exactly what clothing she had on the last time I saw her (Yes, I'm actually serious about this.. I'm anal about knowing what they're wearing for this sole purpose). I can't go to sleep till the girls are safe and sound in the house, the alarm is set, Max is ready to eat whoever may come knocking, and Smith and Wesson are laying soundly on my nightstand. HOW AM I EVER GOING TO SLEEP AGAIN?!?! I won't.
Some might say I'm having a hard time letting go.
I'm never going to survive Graduation day. I'll be that crazy mom running down to the field-house floor screaming, "my baby, my baby, mommy loves you". Then passing out, being rushed to the Psych ward via ambulance. That'll be me. Who am I kidding!? Her open house is the day before and I won't even make it through that to actually get to Graduation day!
I don't like this, I don't have to like this, I won't like this. (insert stomping of the foot again)